Bad times


There are a lot of cutesy quotes about people. Why we meet them, why to let them go, how to let them treat us and how not. There is the one about the different reasons we meet people; like some teach us, uplift us…whatever…

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I have some experience in this area; when you go through a life-changing trauma, the people who scrape you off the pavement and keep you together when all you want to do is fall apart, are never the ones you expect it to be.

Someone who can be there for you, not moving to fix you, not trying to force you to cheer up, those are the true gems in life. These are usually the people that have been through a similar trauma (although not always, because sometimes, even though you might expect people who have had similar experiences to support you, it more often than not just reminds them of their own sadness, which to be fair they fought very hard to overcome and they really don’t want to be dragged back there).

It’s not your friends’ faults though that they are not there for you. People, even your dearest friends in the good times, simply cannot deal with you fall apart and stand by, helplessly watching. People are not built that way. It’s the same reason we can’t look beggars on the side of the road in the eye…we don’t really want to have empathy for them, because it means that we would have to feel that pain with them, and let’s face it, it hurts!

So if someone is truly there for you, feeling your pain with you and suffering by your side even though they didn’t need to, those are the people that you need to treasure!

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